Some days I wake up not knowing how I’m feeling.
I don’t know if I feel happy or sad.
Not sure how I feel, I do what I think is best, go with the flow.
Whatever the day brings I’ll roll with it.
I’ll take each step minute by minute.
Sometimes I’ll have a plan and stick to it.
Other times I won’t stick to it.
Sometimes I won’t plan anything.
Other times I’ll end up with a plan and a day of productivity.
On days like this I know I am most fragile.
One word, glance or sigh from someone, anyone, could send me into a spiral of darkness.
It’s been hard to not spiral.
I think I’m at a point now where I can identify days like these, things that could make me spiral and I can avoid them.
It’s days like these I need love the most.
It’s days like these I need a tender touch.
It’s days like this I feel most vulnerable.
When feeling this way I try to stay away from social media.
But the worst thing about days like these are when I beat myself up.
“You’re not as good as them.”
“You don’t try hard enough, lazy bum.”
“Don’t bother looking at yourself in the mirror, you know you’ll just hate on the reflection.”
It’s not that I’m sad on days like this.
I don’t feel this way for any particular reason, consciously.
Sometimes I just need a day like this.
Sometimes, when moving at the pace that we all move we need to slow down.
I think days like these are days our body and mind band together to tell us to take a break.
And love yourself.
On days like these it can be the hardest, but it’s days like these when you need to love yourself the most.
And the most important thing about days like these is to not let them become two days like these.
Feel it then move on.
You need to put on some music and dance.
You need to walk outside in the sunshine.
You need to change your physical state.
Puff out your chest.
Put a smile on your face.
Force yourself if you must.
Remember: Life is all about joy. We’re all here to play, create and enjoy the fruits of the Earth. Even though the sky greys with cloud and storms brew, the sun will always come through when it’s time.
Embrace your stormy days but let them last only a day.
Life is brighter in the sunshine.