September 22nd, 2019 was a transformational day for me, literally. I was in Sydney, Australia attending the Unleash the Power Within seminar by Tony Robbins and my perspective around my writing shifted dramatically.
I have always had this limiting belief that If I fail no one will love or accept me. I don’t remember where or when I integrated this belief into myself but I have been suffering for it my whole life.
I’ve always held back from my writing, from sharing my creations with others and I’ve never let myself be 100% proud of what beautiful things I write for the sheer joy of doing so. When you think about it it’s pretty messed up.
I failed because:
I stopped. I gave up. I let fear win. I let my mean girl (aka Ego or Little-Voice-In-My-Head) rule my thoughts. I doubted myself and kept pushing my writing out to “tomorrow”.
TOMORROW DOESN’T EXIST! (By the time we make it to tomorrow it then becomes Today and tomorrow is, again, unattainable, intangible, non existent).
Long story about methodology aside, Tony Robbins had us eradicate our top three limiting beliefs (‘No one will accept me if I fail’ was just the tip of the ice berg) and replace them with new empowering beliefs.
Through deep state changes and soul searching I came to the realisation that WHEN I TRY I ALREADY SUCCEED.
So what is failure? If what I write is for fun, an artistic outlet and an expression of myself, how do I fail at that?
If writing is art (which it is), and art is subjective (which it is), then there is no way I can fail in the eyes of any consumer of my art. The only way I could possibly fail is by failing myself.
- Failing to write the stories inside and all around me.
- Failing to integrate the lessons I have and am learning into those stories.
- Failing to put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard.
- Failing to share the stories with the world and people who need to hear them.
Q: How do you define failure?
If we don’t try, don’t grow, don’t write, then there is nothing. No movement, no growth, no creation, and no books!
(I shudder at the thought)
If we aren’t growing/moving forward then, by the laws of nature, we must be stagnant and dying. I’m sooooo not ready to die yet! I haven’t even finished my first book!
But the thing is, NOW I KNOW I CAN. NOW I WILL. NOW I CAN DO ANYTHING. BECAUSE NOW IS ALL WE HAVE.
Are you in the same boat I was? Are you peering over the edge of the ship, stealing glances at the magical waters below, and thinking ‘I could do that. That looks like fun. But what if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if…’
Bah Humbug! You’re stuck. I can see you. I am with you. I was with you. But I’m jumping overboard into those magical waters below called Life. The life of a writer.
Q: What belief(s) is holding you back?
I’m going to leave you with this:
Picture yourself 5 years from today with the same limiting belief ‘If I try I will fail and no one will accept or love me’ (or your version of it).
Q: What does your life look like?
A: It’ll look something like this:
- You haven’t started taking steps towards your dream.
- You lie awake at night dreaming about all the good it could bring you & how happy you know you’d be.
- But you fall victim to the voice in your head repeating that limiting belief…
You’re going to fail and be alone for eternity. (Cue dramatic music and shrieks of horror)
To me, when I saw what 5 & 10 years down the road looked like, with this limiting belief, I bawled my eyes out. It was a truly ugly cry. Like snot running, hyperventilating and red tear stained cheeks ugly!
I know that I want to be courageous, a published author, interviewed by Ellen DeGeneres on her talkshow and have raving fans 5, 10, even 80 years from now! And the only way that’s going to happen is by realising, truly believing and LIVING each day with the belief that when I try I already succeed.
I know it’ll take time for this new belief to become a thought that I think effortlessly. It’ll take days, weeks, even months or years of training myself to believe in myself. Some days may be harder than others but in the end, the life I will have, will truly be worth it.
“When you keep trying failure won’t exist.” ~ Imogen Reed